Two people, Julia and James, were getting married. They wanted to have a bit of fun on what can be, let's face it, quite a dull occasion. They spent 6 months rehearsing a Dirty Dancing routine. Being a wedding, it was filmed. Being 2007, it's been put on the internet. This is it:
It's funny. Like all acts designed for a live audience, when filmed it loses something. There are longueurs, certainly, but you can sense the surprise of the other guests, and enjoy the, well... happiness of the whole thing.
Unless you're ITV's London Tonight.
They decided to give the story a bizarre "isn't it embarrassing?" spin. Have a look:
Now, you could question how much this event counts as 'news', but regional programming is founded on such stuff, so we'll let that pass.
What is astonishing is the tone of desperate repression that is threaded through the item. Once you get past Alastair Stewart (who seems to be being operated by remote control from the Outer Hebrides, and who plainly hasn't got a clue who 'Johnny' and 'Baby' are or what 'Dirty... Dancing' is) there is footage of typical wedding 'First Dances'. They are banal and stilted, as the voiceover makes clear.
We're then shown Julia and James' video. Now the agenda kicks in. "Needless to say, the whole thing was Julia's idea," crows reporter Glen Goodman. "Poor James was forced to go to dance lessons for six months until they had every move of the film sequence down pat." Glen "tracked the pair down to their house", where James was apparently "still apologising for his dancing inadequacies". After Julia gives her, very sound, reasons for wanting to do the dance ("we really just wanted to make everyone laugh") the whole thing is then rubbished further by accusations of unoriginality, as footage of another couple doing the same routine at their wedding is shown. And guess what? They did it better! Cut back to the studio for more lazy gender stereotyping from the asinine presenters. James is a man, he can't have enjoyed that at all, he was "browbeaten" into it, how embarrassing, etc. Hmmm. If you watch the full video James seems to enjoy fully entering into the spirit of the comedy set-piece of his happy day, and the kisses he gives to his male friends at the end would seems to confuse the Neanderthal projection of him that London Tonight would prefer.
I don't object to James and Julia playing up to these roles in the item - both obviously under direction as Julia scolds him over a missed step, and he stiltedly groans "How embarrassing!" - as they seem like nice people and are probably excited to be on the telly. It's the needlessly cynical and jaded editorial line that is depressing.
The dance looked like a laugh, and came as a surprise to most of the guests. Would that most weddings could boast as much. Would that Glen Goodman or any of the other London Tonight retards could show as much lightness of spirit, goodwill and emotional freedom.
Dicks.
